Through the Silence

I lost myself,

progressively.

One wrong turn,

and life unfolded.

Betrayal and lies

left their scars,

yet courage rose,

strength held firm,

even as criticism

tried to break me.

I was gutted by loss,

first my parents,

then a storm of turmoil

that pulled me apart,

leaving me distant

from family,

and everyone

I trusted blindly.

I sit 

in the stillness,

asking…

why those I trusted most

could let me fall

so easily.

Yet, somewhere within,

a flame remains.

Not fierce,

but steady.

It teaches the heart

to release what broke it,

and walk forward,

lighter than before.

Leadership’s Tug o’ War ~ Ego, Empathy, and the Fear of Fading.

Leadership is rarely just about vision statements and strategy decks. Strip away the frameworks, and what remains is a deeply human tension, the constant negotiation between ego and empathy. Every leader, whether they admit it or not, feels this tug. The quiet calculation of when to lean in with authority, and when to step back and listen.

When Ego Helps, and When It Hurts

Ego often gets painted as the villain, but the truth is, without it, few of us would ever step into leadership. Ego fuels ambition. It’s what gives us the conviction to rally people around an idea, the courage to make tough calls, and the resilience to stand tall in the middle of setbacks. In its healthiest form, ego is the engine that propels leaders forward.

But ego has a shadow side. Left unchecked, it distorts perspective. It can turn leadership into a personal agenda rather than a collective mission. We’ve all seen versions of this: the manager who hoards credit, the executive who speaks last just to have the final word, the leader who confuses being visible with being valuable.

The challenge isn’t to erase ego but to discipline it. The best leaders don’t abandon ego; they learn how to harness it. They use it to drive ambition while resisting the temptation to let it eclipse the team.

Empathy ~ More Than Just “Being Nice”

If ego is the engine, empathy is the steering wheel. Empathy shifts our focus outward. It’s the difference between simply assigning a task and actually trusting someone with ownership. It’s what moves leadership from being about me to being about we.

There’s a common misconception that empathy in leadership means being endlessly accommodating. But empathy doesn’t mean being everyone’s best friend. It’s not about lowering the bar, it’s about lifting people so they can reach it.

The Spotlight Trap

Even leaders who balance ego and empathy often wrestle with another subtle challenge 'the spotlight'.

Few leaders admit it openly, but many feel it, that creeping fear of being overlooked if the team shines too brightly. Leadership FOMO is real. Recognition, after all, is part of what draws people to leadership in the first place.

But here’s the irony, the harder you chase the spotlight, the dimmer it gets. People might clap for your results in the moment, but what they remember is how they felt working with you. The leader who hogs credit often wins the applause of the day but loses long-term loyalty. The one who makes space for others to be seen? That’s the leader remembered with respect.

Think of an orchestra. The conductor is essential but never the star of the performance. The violinist, the percussionist, the soloist each take their turn in the light. Yet when the music ends, it’s the harmony that lingers, and the conductor is applauded for enabling it.

The same is true in leadership. The more you give away the spotlight, the stronger your light becomes. And research only reinforces what many of us know instinctively, leaders who listen, share credit, and lead with empathy build teams that are more engaged, innovative, and loyal.

Walking the Tightrope

So how do leaders walk this tightrope? A few anchors help...

Ask the hard question. Before stepping into the spotlight, pause. Is this about the mission, or is this about me? That simple check can stop ego from taking the wheel.

 

Give ownership, not errands. Delegation is transactional, empowerment is transformational. People grow when they feel trusted, not when they feel managed.

 

Rethink visibility. Visibility doesn’t mean being in every room. It means making sure your team is seen in the rooms that matter. When your team shines, your leadership echoes louder.

 

A Question Worth Sitting With

The tension between ego and empathy isn’t something you ever fully solve. It’s more like a dial than a switch, one that needs constant adjusting. Some moments demand more ego, conviction in crisis, clarity in chaos. Others call for empathy, patience, listening, humility. The art of leadership lies in knowing which to call upon, and when.

In the end, leadership isn’t measured by the light you cast on yourself. It’s measured by the glow you leave behind in others. The spotlight you share almost always finds its way back to you.

So maybe the better question is this - When was the last time you stepped back and let someone else take the bow and what did you learn in that silence?

Stop Selling Products. Start Solving Problems.

 Sales is not an easy game. 

You have to be alert, adaptable, and constantly on top of things. But here’s something worth pausing over selling a product and selling a solution are two very different skills.

There’s an old saying that “a good salesperson can sell ice to an Eskimo.” Catchy, yes, but in today’s world, that’s not the badge of honour it once was. If you’ve convinced someone to buy something they don’t really need, you might have made a sale, but you haven’t built a relationship.

A truly great salesperson today is the one who takes the time to understand the real requirement, the underlying pain points, and the bigger picture for their customer and then offers a solution that makes sense. Sometimes that means rethinking what you were planning to sell in the first place.

Why this matters more than ever

Markets everywhere, including Sri Lanka are evolving. Customers are more informed, more cost-conscious, and more focused on value than ever before. They’re reading reviews, talking to peers, and comparing options before you’ve even met them.

The days when a glossy pitch or a well-rehearsed demo could seal the deal are fading. The real opportunity now lies in listening first understanding the client’s business model, their constraints, their ambitions, and even the unspoken fears behind their decisions.

In relationship-driven markets like ours, deals aren’t won in a single meeting. They’re built over time, through consistent delivery, honest conversations, and showing up for your client even when there’s no immediate revenue in sight.

From vendor to partner

The shift from selling a product to selling a solution is also the shift from being a vendor to being a partner.

A vendor sells what’s in stock.

A partner designs something that works for you, even if it means collaborating with others, customising the offer, or delaying the sale until the timing is right.

When you become a partner in your client’s success, the sales process becomes less about persuasion and more about problem-solving. And that’s where trust is built.

The trust dividend

Trust is currency in business. When customers know you’ll give them advice that’s in their best interest, not just yours, they’ll not only keep coming back, they’ll bring you into more of their challenges.

That’s when the dynamic changes. You’re no longer chasing one-off wins; you’re building a pipeline of opportunities that grows naturally from the relationships you’ve nurtured.

The opportunity ahead

For sales teams, this mindset shift isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s a competitive advantage.

Solution selling opens the door to longer-term contracts, deeper loyalty, and the kind of referrals money can’t buy. It positions you as someone who understands both the business and the human side of the decision.

So, the next time you’re in a sales conversation, ask yourself…

Am I trying to close a deal?

Or am I trying to solve a problem in a way that keeps this relationship alive for years?

In today’s market, the second option isn’t just the right one, it’s the one that will keep you in the game.

Hot Flashes & Heavy Lifts ~ My Midlife Power Move

A little over a year ago, if you’d told me I’d be swinging from bars, holding a plank for over 4 minutes, and lifting weights almost equal to my body weight… I would have laughed… and then probably taken a nap.

Back then, getting out of bed for anything other than coffee felt like a full-body workout. Menopause had me feeling like my energy, mood, and body were all conspiring against me. For the men reading this, think midlife crisis, but with bonus mood swings, hot flashes, and the kind of exhaustion that makes Netflix feel like an extreme sport.

But here’s the twist: at 52, I am stronger, fitter, and more energetic than I’ve been in decades. And the secret wasn’t a magic supplement, a trendy diet, or some “overnight transformation” gimmick.

It was one thing: training my mind before I trained my body. Because the truth is, the heaviest weight you’ll ever lift is the one between your ears. Once you convince that voice in your head that you can, your body starts following instructions.

That first step? The hardest one you’ll ever take. Dragging yourself out of bed. Lacing up those shoes. Showing up. But once you start, something amazing happens, you realise your own potential isn’t tied to your age, your hormones, or what anyone thinks you can (or can’t) do.

The perks go way beyond the physical:

◦ Energy that lasts all day

◦ Moods that don’t swing like a jungle vine.

◦ Joints that don’t creak like an old gate.

◦ The quiet satisfaction of keeping up with 

                and sometimes outpacing people half your

                age

It’s not about becoming a different person. It’s about becoming the version of you that was buried under stress, excuses, and low energy.

From not being able to roll out of bed to bouncing around like a caffeinated jive bunny, I will never regret redirecting the past 12 months into my own wellbeing.

So whether you’re battling hot flashes or staring down the barrel of a midlife “what now?” moment ~ start. Pick up the weights. Go for the walk. Do the thing you’ve been telling yourself you’re “too old” for.

Your story isn’t winding down, you’re just entering your plot twist. And trust me, the best chapters are still to come.

#MindOverMatter #MidlifeStrong #MidlifeComeback

Didn’t See It Coming

He wasn’t loud.

Didn’t chase.

Didn’t flirt.

No tell-tale trace.

Smart.

Respected.

The kind they all admire 

Quiet eyes,

A mind on fire.

You thought,

“He’s different.

He’s safe.”

But wolves don’t always

Show their face.

Played the part

So effortlessly,

That you mistook

Cold for clarity.

Bit by bit,

You dimmed your light,

Till you were just

Trying to make things right.

And when he left,

He had his script 

“Maybe I’m wired wrong,

Emotionally clipped.”

But truth be told,

He just took what served,

Then walked away 

No guilt preserved.

Outwardly kind,

Inwardly mess,

He drained your worth

Then called it stress.

Unravelled

Inner circles

are a precarious thing

One moment,

they lift you

higher than you’ve ever been,

cheering loud

as you rise.

But envy,

she wears a soft smile.

Creeps in,

quiet and cunning.

Secrets once shared

in whispered trust

become currency

for those who crave

your fall.

And like a spool

knocked off the edge,

your life begins

to unravel

thread by thread,

truth tangled

in half-spun lies.

You stand

in the ruins

of what was once your safe space,

and ask the question

no one wants to answer:

Can you ever truly trust

the ones who swore

they had your back…

but instead,

held the knife?