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Friday, June 11, 2010

Top 10 Lies Men Tell.... read between the lines

A new survey by OnePole, shows how much lying both men and women do. Women tell an average of 728 lies per year, while men ride the line of over 1,090! If you think all these lies weigh heavily on his guilty conscience, 30 percent deliver them ease and comfort. Here are the top 10 lies he could be dishing out, and what you can do about them:

1. "I didn't have much to drink"
The number one lie told by men is how much they have had to drink. This is more of a lie to themselves than anyone else. An inebriated man is not good at fibbing. It can become a potentially serious problem if he lies about it too often. Wait until he regains sobriety to discuss any concerns about his behavior.

2. "Nothing's wrong, I'm Fine"
Men are taught to not be emotional beings. If he's sad, he's fine, if depressed, he's still fine. It can get awfully lonely for a man going through a difficult time. He feels as if there is nobody he can turn to. This is why it's important he knows someone is there for him. Keep in mind, it's easier for him to express anger when he's vulnerable, so give him space and let him come to you once he's ready.

3. "My battery died," "I didn't know you called"
It is entirely possible for these events to take place, but if these types of circumstances happen too often, they are probably more than just circumstance. Generally these lies are designed to cover up the fact that he's screening his calls, and you're no longer on his priority list. This can be a sign that a man is losing interest or falling out of love. Back off, and give him some space to realize he misses you.

4. "I don't care"
Yes, he does. Men desperately seek the approval of their partner. When faced with the prospects of criticism, blame, and the disappointment of a partner, a man may wall himself off by denying the importance of the relationship. This is the cue to pull back and express negative feelings with sensitivity. Men can handle "I feel" or "I need," much better than they can, "you are" or "you always."

5. "It wasn't expensive"
Women have expensive tastes, but men are just as guilty when it comes to their toys and vanity. Men pride themselves in being responsible with money, so when they buy something reckless, they lie to avoid the guilt of irresponsibility. Based on studies, men are much more susceptible to purchase expensive items for the purpose of deceiving others into thinking they are something they're not.

6. "I'm on my way," "I was stuck in traffic"
When a man is less than excited to be somewhere, these lies can add 20 to 40 minutes of free time to his schedule. This form of passive aggression spites his partner since he's showing up late, while hiding his contempt behind what he considers a plausible excuse. Instead of complaining that he's always late, try letting him know when (and why) it's really important for him to be on time.

7. "I didn't forget"
Men know the punitive damages of forgetting a birthday or anniversary. When faced with this transgression he will deny it, excuse himself quietly, drive to the nearest grocery store, and buy the biggest bouquet of flowers he can. Men don't understand the importance of remembering key relationship moments, so ambush his lies by communicating expectations openly and clearly.

8. "I'd never get plastic surgery"
Men are actually just as vain as women. In a 2007 survey, it was found that 17 percent of men had performed some sort of cosmetic surgery, whether hair transplant or botox injections. It's an increase of 5 and 21 percent, respectively, compared to just a few decades ago.

9. "I understand"
Men want to understand, but often their communication style differs so much they form a wedge between their partner. If he says he understands, make sure your needs have been explained with action-type words, rather than symbolic inference. For example, men will understand the phrase, "I want you to grab and kiss me more often," much more than, "I need more romance."

10. "I'm not married," "My wife and I are separated"
Cheating among married men is a tricky proposition. His real trick is to capture his pursued sex object's confidence, making her think she's about to get a good man -- when in fact she's only getting a cheating husband. Never believe a married man who makes these types of statements or promises. If he's a cheater, he's also a liar!

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