I reached for you but the sheets were cold, the bed empty
I turned around my eyes burning with tears
Clutched my pillow tight , cried myself to sleep
I must have done this every night for so long
It was an effort to wake up each morning
Dragging myself out of bed standing up on shaky feet
My spirit was broken I looked such a mess
For the longest time I couldn’t think straight
I drifted from day to day aimlessly
My dreams had shattered before my eyes
The walls of protection had come crashing down
I was vulnerable and totally exposed
Replaying the sequences and scenes over and over
Asking myself the questions I dared not ask out loud
Working myself into a frenzy and panic
How do I go on?
Sometimes I sit in quiet solitude just staring out to sea
I feel the waves beckoning me and I start to walk in
Nothing else around me seems to matter anymore
Until someone runs up and shakes me into reality
I have no tears left no strength to move
My heart aches my head feels like a rock
Friends talk to me, I listen but don’t really hear a sound
All the while just thinking, where did I go wrong?
I turn to God in my desperation, the only sanity I seem to have
I look for answers in all the wrong places take all the wrong turns
I beat myself up, my confidence shattered
I have become a stranger, someone even I hardly recognize
I am angry, confused, feeling hurt and betrayed
Every milestone reminding me it was all a lie
More angry at myself for feeling this way
The bitter pill of separation seems to have gotten the best of me
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